I can't say this is a universal reaction. As a child I was told I was smart, and subsequently wrote off all my failures with the flippant "I learned something here, and have become even smarter." Insecurity exists regardless of intelligence or hype.
Jives true to me as well. Most of the people who have identities based on being smart far underperform their intelligence. I was praised for being smart growing up, I fight that off like crazy now. "Me? Not smart at all. Just curious." "Nah, I'm dumb as a box of rocks. I just keep going." And so on. It's done wonders for me. (Also, realizing just how much I didn't know was pretty humbling - and the scariest is realizing how much that I'm not even aware I don't know...)
I am embarrassed to be among the crowd here that will all chime in and say, "I was told I'm smart too". And I, too, was a thoroughly mediocre student.
But the reason had nothing to do with fear, and everything to do with not seeing any value in what I was being asked to do. I knew the amount of effort that would be needed to slide by, and that was all the effort that I put in.
Nor do I shy away now from being "smart". My intelligence is a tool, and I should use it well, and I am not ashamed -- or afraid -- of it.
I'm another one of the fairly mediocre students that's been labeled "smart". It was much, much worse in middle and high school than it's been in college, thanks to a stiff kick in the ass by my father, but I still find myself falling back into that old habit of just sliding by. I still consider myself a mediocre student because, by my standards, I am doing mediocre. Now, by most of my contemporaries, I'm doing fairly well in school and life, but I still can't fight the feeling that I'm selling myself short and not living up to my ability.
I've noticed that a bit in this thread, and I have at least one other friend that's struggled with this: the notion that there is some kind of responsibility associated with some kind of talent.
Well, there isn't.
A person that's naturally beautiful doesn't have a responsibility to become an actor or an actress or a model. In our society, it's frowned upon if their parents do things like push them into beauty pageants.
People that are naturally strong or powerfully built don't have a responsibility to take a manual labor job, and nobody tells them that they aren't "living up to their ability" if they don't take a job in construction.
Now, there's a caveat: there are certain problems in human society which smart people are better suited to solving. That doesn't mean they will solve them -- most of the problems require multiple talents, and intelligence is just one -- but they do have some edge.
But that's not your responsibility, or mine, or anyone else's. You should decide what's important to you and then do that.
There's nothing wrong with spending your life having fun.
I can't speak for the parent but I know that I'm not using my brain to it's fullest - it's not that I feel because I'm intelligent that society expects me to use that intelligence I don't feel I owe anything because of that blessing. It's simply that I'd like to use my intelligence to better effect, to positively influence society, to leave a legacy somehow of benificence, etc., that's probably more arrogance than anything else though. It does lead me on to thoughts of being an academic teacher in the more formal sense of the word (I consider many aspects of what I do to be teaching roles).
I believe that's the same for me as well. I don't feel that I'm selling society, my parents, my peers, etc. short by not living up to my potential. I'm simply selling myself short, and I feel guilty for wasting away something that not many people have.
Then again, I do spend a lot of my time learning and improving myself, and I'm not sure I need a 4.0 to back up some claim to knowledge. The most intelligent person I've ever met was a horrible student. He spent most of his hours studying, but he never really studied the things that his classes were teaching. You could certainly pin that on a lack of judgment, but I don't know anyone that would say he lacked intelligence.
> ...and I feel guilty for wasting away something that not many people have.
But I think that statement right there puts the lie to saying that you're doing it for yourself, and not for society. That may well be your intention, but is it possible that you're still driven at least in part by the expectations of others? If not, then why does it matter that you have it, and they don't?
BTW, I don't mean to discourage people that are doing something with what they have. Quite the contrary, I really wish more people would, whether they're creative or analytical or otherwise. However, I also think that the expectations placed upon kids of certain aptitudes by their parents, teachers, and others at a young age are perverse and cruel.
People should feel driven to accomplish great things because they want to, not because others expect it, or because they feel guilty if they don't.
Assuming intelligence actually is a gift, it's a gift that is, at best, an amusing anecdote if not taken advantage of. If I don't use it, the world isn't really a worse place, but I am definitely a worse person in comparison to who I could have been if I had taken advantage of it. That isn't in relation to some other person's expectations of me; that's in relation to my own expectations. Sure, those could have been ingrained into me at a young age. There's probably a number of things that I consider to be my own, as far as perceptions, that sprang forth from my youth and my interactions with others. But that doesn't mean that I have this drive to do more with my intelligence because of what society dictates.
Most of the people who have identities based on being smart far underperform their intelligence.
Most people who have identities based on any single term underperform. I think you'd find that people who live life in a singleminded "athlete" way, or "gamer" way, or on and on, underperform similarly. Possibly they're happy that way, possibly they've just pidgeonholed themselves.
Yeah, I've touted Carol Dweck's research on HN before. It's one of the most fascinating pieces of education research I've learned about. And it's clearly what the author refers to.
If you've been taught to judge your worth by your intelligence, and simultaneously believe intelligence is fixed at birth, it's a logical consequence that you might do a lot of dumb things to preserve your internal belief that you're smart.
I think you are an exception to the rule. Lots of research and similar anecdotal accounts support the article (kids who succeed early self-sabotage for the rest of their life).
