IMO, you guys are putting too much stock into worrying what people might think of you. It is just that, a game, and only those who are willing to play can come out the winners. _Wages are your livelihood_ and if the only way to get a fair increase is to go outside and come back then so be it. I don't think people would look down on you for doing so if you were legitimately not being paid fairly.
You are right. I'm glad she finally tried to have a conversation about it. In a way, that conversation helps one come back to the right mind-set about the employer-employee relationship. Staying in a company for more than 3-5 years may be one of the best ways to get underpaid.
