Startups are a bitch, especially if it isn't your own. You are essentially sacrificing your quality of life for someone elses dream. I was in a similar situation to yours, minus the suicidal part, but still really bad not going out for days.
It was impossible for me to listen to other advice at that stage, so I don't know how mine can help here. But for what it's worth I can at least tell you how I llook upon it now:
I was no longer following my dreams. That's it. Consequences were that I was not happy, had no self-motivation and felt like life was useless.
My tip to you is to thing really really hard every day about what you used to dream of and try to lure those thoughts back. One you catch a glimpse, steer in that direction. Take control over your life. Make it your own again. That is what saved me and made me into what I am today: I now know what I want and am therefore pleasant company. I am no longer directionless ("spineless").
It was impossible for me to listen to other advice at that stage, so I don't know how mine can help here. But for what it's worth I can at least tell you how I llook upon it now:
I was no longer following my dreams. That's it. Consequences were that I was not happy, had no self-motivation and felt like life was useless.
My tip to you is to thing really really hard every day about what you used to dream of and try to lure those thoughts back. One you catch a glimpse, steer in that direction. Take control over your life. Make it your own again. That is what saved me and made me into what I am today: I now know what I want and am therefore pleasant company. I am no longer directionless ("spineless").