Scala […] is barely able to infer the existence of its own arse with both hands, failing in even the simplest of cases.
Thanks for this. Not only did I lol, but this confirmed my suspicion that Scala was "not the language I was looking for" to use for an upcoming project (a compiler that, for business/politics reasons, must run on the JVM). You've no doubt spared future me regret.
Check out ermine[1], a language for the JVM that was written for exactly that reason. It's being used at S&P Capital IQ. You can look at the user guide[2] for more information.
Thanks for this. Not only did I lol, but this confirmed my suspicion that Scala was "not the language I was looking for" to use for an upcoming project (a compiler that, for business/politics reasons, must run on the JVM). You've no doubt spared future me regret.