I used to struggle with the same thing. Always being told that I was special. Graduating at the top 2% of my high school, slated for MIT, "you'll go far kid."
But here I am, feeling normal and useless. I lead a moderate sized club at RPI, but I don't even feel accomplished for it. I haven't seen any of the job offers that I felt were promised to me when I enrolled at the school, I haven't gotten any major internships.
As a kid I used to hit the video games pretty hard, but at some point I started to realize how fake the achievements felt. I literally can't stomach playing video games anymore. It feels like taking some sort of numbing drug. I have good memories, and I don't even regret most of the weekends I devoted entirely to video games (and the costs associated).
But I feel ill equipped for criticism. Not only am I ill equipped to hear criticism, but my peers are ill equipped to give criticism. Did my speech go well? What could I improve? Even when I can tell that my peers did not like what they saw, it's hard to figure out why, I don't think that some of them even know how to criticize someone within their own mind.
I worked a job last summer teaching kids. I still visit from time to time, and the trend of positive reinforcement and lack of criticism seems to be gaining momentum in our youth. My boss would not let me criticize my own students. And this worries me. What happens when everybody hits the real world, ill equipped for the failure that most adults will tell you happens regularly?
And what can we do to address the issue without swinging the pendulum in the exact opposite direction, to the fabled 'tiger' parenting that seems to carry it's own hefty share of negative consequences?
> But here I am, feeling normal and useless. I lead a moderate sized club at RPI, but I don't even feel accomplished for it. I haven't seen any of the job offers that I felt were promised to me when I enrolled at the school, I haven't gotten any major internships.
I struggled with this as well. A big turning point for me was dropping entirely the notion of being entitled to anything. In reality, no one owes me anything just because I think I'm smart or because I think I work hard.
> As a kid I used to hit the video games pretty hard, but at some point I started to realize how fake the achievements felt. I literally can't stomach playing video games anymore. It feels like taking some sort of numbing drug. I have good memories, and I don't even regret most of the weekends I devoted entirely to video games (and the costs associated).
Me too! It sucks sometimes because I want to enjoy playing a game but don't. I've found that I can't play games, like Skyrim, that are just time-based grinds. Instead, I play games for the nostalgia, the story, for creativity elements, or for the competition/skill factor. Sometimes even then I feel uneasy playing games because I feel like I should be doing something more productive.. that's a tough feeling to get over.
> I worked a job last summer teaching kids. I still visit from time to time, and the trend of positive reinforcement and lack of criticism seems to be gaining momentum in our youth. My boss would not let me criticize my own students.
I don't think these things are mutually exclusive. You can certainly criticize and be positive (or at least not negative) about it.
Hey, I'm an RPI student too. I think fundamentally your feelings of "fake achievement" come down to the fact that job offers, internships, fame, etc don't spawn from going to MIT or any other university: it's what you create that matters. College isn't a guarantee of anything: it's just a great opportunity to learn a ton of stuff if you put your mind to it.
Sidenote: I saw this post in your profile, "How can I learn to code in a practical environment?" (http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4326920). I'm someone that comes from the practical side of things, in terms of software engineering. Feel free to send me an email if you'd like to discuss.
But here I am, feeling normal and useless. I lead a moderate sized club at RPI, but I don't even feel accomplished for it. I haven't seen any of the job offers that I felt were promised to me when I enrolled at the school, I haven't gotten any major internships.
As a kid I used to hit the video games pretty hard, but at some point I started to realize how fake the achievements felt. I literally can't stomach playing video games anymore. It feels like taking some sort of numbing drug. I have good memories, and I don't even regret most of the weekends I devoted entirely to video games (and the costs associated).
But I feel ill equipped for criticism. Not only am I ill equipped to hear criticism, but my peers are ill equipped to give criticism. Did my speech go well? What could I improve? Even when I can tell that my peers did not like what they saw, it's hard to figure out why, I don't think that some of them even know how to criticize someone within their own mind.
I worked a job last summer teaching kids. I still visit from time to time, and the trend of positive reinforcement and lack of criticism seems to be gaining momentum in our youth. My boss would not let me criticize my own students. And this worries me. What happens when everybody hits the real world, ill equipped for the failure that most adults will tell you happens regularly?
And what can we do to address the issue without swinging the pendulum in the exact opposite direction, to the fabled 'tiger' parenting that seems to carry it's own hefty share of negative consequences?