I also especially liked this:
Part of the Employee Handbook:
"Reasons for termination include but are not limited to the following:
[...]
• Other reasons not listed here"
And then his comment:
"As you can see, these are clear boundaries"
Yeah, very clear boundaries there: You can be fired for anything, including "reasons not listed here".
It is actually a pretty clear list. It's listing a number of things clearly. It's also saying that the list is not closed, because anything can happen and you can't predict everything.
What if an employee decides to splash paint on all the cars in the car park? Unlikely, but possible, and it's stupid to try and come up with every such possibility, because you'll never hit them all. The list hits the most common issues and lays them out clearly.
As your number of staff increases, you'll find that you need to be more explicit. Real world people are complex creatures, and managing them isn't simple. What defines 'being a dipshit', for example? For some, it's being a pedant. For others, it's being slow to learn. Others think it's about obnoxiousness. Besides, rules like "fraudulent timesheets are a fireable offense" make it explicitly clear that 'we check these things', and avoid the 'but I didn't know it was wrong' excuses that you will hear with enough employees, commonsense be damned.
In addition, the dickhead reserves the right to change the rules at any time, and you're required to sign everything. So basically, once you have a job and a contract, you're signing a second contract, when you've been lured into their honey pot. At this moment you end up at a dead end, because you have probably told your other jobs you won't accept. Yeah, nicely played.
And then his comment: "As you can see, these are clear boundaries"
Yeah, very clear boundaries there: You can be fired for anything, including "reasons not listed here".