> It may exist in every industry, but this is the one I've chosen, and this is where I can start to make a change.
Good! I think that's the right decision. I can't imagine what would cause the world to get better about this aside from women, on a global scale, making it very clear that it's not OK.
2. You'd be shocked how much better my environment would be if, when I expressed concern about something, I was not told to 'lighten up', but if my concern was treated as valid.
I'm surprised by that response, 'lighten up' to be clear. We always joked around and if anybody, whether it be female or male, got offended then it was certainly not OK. I have never worked with anybody that intentionally tried to offend somebody and was nothing but apologetic if it occurred. Though I am sure there are plenty that exist.
It's not about changing the asshole's behavior, per se, it's about changing the response of Jim, random third party in the meeting where Bob says he's sitting across from Katie so he can ogle her tits from:
"Katie, lighten up"
to
"Bob, stop being such a creepy fuck. It's unacceptable".
It may exist in every industry, but this is the one I've chosen, and this is where I can start to make a change.