What do you mean here? Your kid is not a neighbor you would have to treat fairly our not, he or she is your own blood, you love your kid, you don't treat them. That's a part of American education problem, kids are like clients, with rights and all.
That love manifests in your treatment. Having moved to the west at a young age from Eastern Europe, the contrast in attitudes has often struck me.
Over there you appreciate the level of sacrifice your parents made to make your existence possible, everything they give you is a gift. Over here it almost seems like the child automatically deserves the world from their parents for the great injustice of having been born.
Now I'm not saying parents west and east are different in wanting to give their child the very best they can. It's the attitude of entitlement towards what is given that differs and I still struggle to grasp the western perspective.
Apologies up front since I don't think I was able to capture my thoughts on this topic with a great deal of eloquence here.
Imagine I had a girlfriend from Moldavia totally dependent on me for money and her visa so I could do almost anything to her short of harming her physically just like with a baby. Because she didnt grow up with our material culture she has problems with shopping too much. I want to teach her to better restrain herself so I lock her upin the apartment when I go to work. Of course she screams when I leave but soon she learns how to comfort herself and when I get home she is normal again. Next time she goes out she has learned her lessen, I mustbe a great boyfriend.
I dont understand why positions of power are seen so different just because the weaker party is ones offspring.
I am not American. Also not a native speaker, didn't know how to describe it better. What I mean is we take good care of him, so he doesn't need to protest all the time. Why should he wake up screaming in the night if there is no issue? So either there is an issue, in which case he screams, we appear and try to fix it. Or there is no issue, in which case he also doesn't scream. It is no fight or power game, as with the "let them scream" school of parenting.
Of course he is only 16 months now, so I can not really make that many claims about the effectiveness of our parenting... Also kids just may be different, but I didn't see the french woman take that many samples, either (did she check the French suburbs, I hear there is a lot of troubled youth around).
Well I think you are wrong in thinking babies don't cry without a reason. Crying is a normal activity for kids. If the belly is full, the diaper clean and there no sign of other discomfort, then I think letting cry is an option. Happy parents is the best gift you can give to you kids, and stress, sleep deprivation, guilt, etc, are not the way to be happy.
It's true what you say about the happy parents, and probably you can't generalize to all kids. They are all different.
However, I also had a feeling that since the baby is totally dependent on me (he could not even turn on his belly in the first weeks), it was asked too much for him to entertain himself. Why do I get to decide what is enough for him (well fed and diapers cleaned has to be sufficient)? He could not even change his view without my help. This is just a very personal thing, though, everybody will feel different.
On a related note, I just read a book about sleep research and one experiment they did was exposing people to extreme boredom. That is they were made to lie in a bed for days and not even allowed to read or anything - so their situation is quite similar to those helpless babies. Turns out they would settle into a 4h sleep pattern, similar to babies.
I wouldn't say it is about boredom and entertainment, your kid is in the survival stage, fill basic needs, stay close to caregivers, etc. So, in fact, the crying had a function when we were apes in the Savannah, it was to call the mother in case she lost you. Now this need is deprecated, and the babie will have to be separated someday from parents, so letting cry for 5, then 10, then 20 minutes is a good compromise, imo better than teaching early your kid that whatever they want is easily obtained through loug crying.
Babies need more than just food and warm clothes. And they are dependent on you for a long time. I don't see the point in weaning them off things when they are still too young to provide them for themselves. For example, they can't just log on to Hacker News when they feel bored. Crying might be the equivalent to typing "news.ycombinator.com" into your URL bar. Is it really so bad to take care of your babies' needs?
What do you mean here? Your kid is not a neighbor you would have to treat fairly our not, he or she is your own blood, you love your kid, you don't treat them. That's a part of American education problem, kids are like clients, with rights and all.