> It also makes it easy to think of those who don't know what is obvious to you as idiots.

Honestly, if someone does this to me, I often think they are the incompetent one/idiot. Teaching and ensuring understandability is a core skill (which can absolutely be learned) necessary for a functioning team.

At least the two folks I know with autism on my team have worked incredibly hard at ensuring they practice this skill, and they are some of the best developers I know, partially for that.