Kids are different. My kids also generally doesn't have tantrums, and I don't stay home. She's just a mellow kid (and also was never ignored or left to get over-heated -- what are you implying here?). Compare to a friend of mine whose oldest can turn into a nuclear meltdown in 5 seconds; she stays home.
Hope your kid 2 doesn't destroy all your certainties about children :)
>and also was never ignored or left to get over-heated -- what are you implying here?
I just mean that daycare services (at least the ones I've seen) are not staffed 1:1 so the average wait time for children who say need a diaper change is probably higher than a stay a home parent with a single child.
Our kid did not go to daycare until 16 months, so I don't know much about that, but also did not have a single stay-at-home parent. Both parents dropped days/week worked to 3 or 4 and we staggered our schedules, and then had a caretaker about 18 hrs/week. I think this should be brought up for people in jobs like software where flexibility is sometimes possible.
Hope your kid 2 doesn't destroy all your certainties about children :)