Here's another format I've seen suggested by a VC firm:
<XYZ corp> provides <category> solutions to <target-customer> for <purpose>, which allows them to <benefit> by leveraging <uniqueness> technology.
this is the example they gave:
Akimbi Systems provides R&D tools to ISVs and enterprises for automated provisioning of test configurations, which allows customers to deliver higher quality software faster by leveraging the company's automation platform.
<XYZ corp> provides <category> solutions to <target-customer> for <purpose>, which allows them to <benefit> by leveraging <uniqueness> technology.
this is the example they gave:
Akimbi Systems provides R&D tools to ISVs and enterprises for automated provisioning of test configurations, which allows customers to deliver higher quality software faster by leveraging the company's automation platform.