Not to defend your particular dentist, but...

> I asked if we could just do an extraction but they only responded with "Oh you don't want to do that!" (playfully) but legitimately not saying it was an option.

I think dentists are culturally and by training pre-disposed to keeping your real teeth in your mouth. I've asked different dentists why and they get a hand-wavy, but they all say it's better if your real teeth are in there. This even happened in a scenario where I wanted a tooth removed and an implant put in - they would have made more money saying yes to me, but they pushed me towards other options.

It's because there are risks, up to infections that eats your face and might kill you, and the implant does not last forever.

I'm starting to get old, and I have realised that the trick is to keep all your body parts together until everything gives up at once :-)

It's because your jaw will change shape when there is a void an it can affect other teeth in the row. Also if you remove a tooth on the lower jaw, the corresponding tooth above on the upper jaw can start to travel downwards in the absence of a bite.

Those are valid reasons to avoid having a gap instead of a tooth, but should make no difference in the heavily-repaired-but-"real" vs implant tooth question that the parent poster had.

My experience with "dentists these days" matches yours. I go in for a checkup, and instead I'm getting sales pitches for mouth guards and alignment thinggys, and electric toothbrushes and all sorts of obviously high-margin dental accessories. And then there's the "well we usually recommend quarterly visits, but will accept twice a year" when I explicitly tell them my insurance only allows one visit a year. I basically say no to everything, and they try to guilt trip me into a bunch of optional procedures for a half an hour. Finally, eventually, they grudgingly clean my teeth.

It's like a shady auto mechanic for people who don't know anything about cars. You go in for an oil change, and they of course identify all sorts of optional repairs, making them sound super scary. "I'm not saying this small oil pan gasket leak will leave you by the side of the road, but you don't want to get behind on preventative maintenance!" Same tactic.

The icing on the cake is when, fast forward a few months, my insurance company sends me notice that they won't cover the visit because the dentist wrote the work up as "orthodontic prep" instead of "standard cleaning" so I need to contact them to get it corrected... and on and on...

I remember when you could go to the dentist, get a cleaning, be out of there in 45 minutes and be down about $100.

There are some dentists out there that are still like this.

Last fall I finally went in for a cleaning after several years of putting it off. At one point I asked the dentist about teeth whitening and he told me that they can do it, but the over-the-counter whitening strips work fine and I should save my money.

Refreshing to hear an answer like that.

There are plenty of good dentists, and the internet has made it much easier to compare. Not sure if there's a well-reputed review site for healthcare professionals, but Yelp has worked well for me.

>My experience with "dentists these days" matches yours. I go in for a checkup, and instead I'm getting sales pitches for mouth guards and alignment thinggys, and electric toothbrushes and all sorts of obviously high-margin dental accessories.

I'm going to agree and disagree with this one.

I went a few times to a "dental spa" a couple years ago which was trying to sell me a "night guard" for $900, claiming I was grinding my teeth at night. Their prices for other stuff were pretty high too.

My current dentist pushed me hard to get an electric toothbrush, either from her office or elsewhere. They even gave me a sample brushhead and let me try it out in their office, using some purple pills to show how much cleaner the electric toothbrush made my teeth. Her price actually wasn't that bad compared to Target/Walmart, but I ended up getting a nice Oral-B on Amazon on Black Friday. Guess what? The dentist was right! Now my teeth constantly feel like I just got a polishing at the dentist. I got another Oral-B for my wife on Amazon (it was only $30-35), and she loves it.

Seriously, get an electric toothbrush; it makes a huge difference. You don't need to waste time getting a full polishing when you use one of these daily.

But as for the night guard, my current dentist hasn't tried to sell me one of those. And they recommend twice-a-year visits, which is what my insurance pays for.

It sounds like you need to find a new dentist.

Some dentists can be pretty scummy. My mother in her early 60s didn't have dental insurance and went to a local dentist that was affordable for cleaning. She had a little bit pain in her mouth and her dentist recommended extracting all the teeth and replacing with implants for $1000s! She calls me up and I go visit with her to get an better idea. He gets ticked off because he though we were ready to go right ahead. I was appalled how he could care more about his profit than someones health.

I remembered my own dentist complaining about some swollen gums in my mouth and wanted to surgically treat it because it had gotten too bad. I just told him to deep clean in and lets see in a 6 months. I started regularly flossing and using mouthwash during this time. By 6 months he was surprised that it all recovered with a little cleaning.

Anyway, I took my mother from that place to my own dentist, have them clean her teeth properly and now 10 years later all her teeth are still there any have no pain.

In summary, I don't had trust in most dentists to do what is right for you.

The Frontline episode on this topic is worth a watch http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/film/dollars-and-dentists/

My mom went to the dentist for (the beginnings of) a tooth infection and they tried to sell her a mouth guard that probably cost $1000 or so. There was no evidence at all that she was grinding her teeth.

a lot of medical professionals are scummy. there's a word for it: quackery.

That is a standard scam. My wife accidentally went to a random dental office and went through the same thing. Luckily she had the common sense to not sign anything. Then we went on the web and found dozens of people saying the place did that to everyone. She went to a recommended dentist and had it repaired with caps for a tenth the asking amount.

I know us Brits always harp on about the National Health Service, but if you can find a dentist with NHS spaces available locally then you're in good hands.

But they're not without their commercial incentives either. And the waiting times can go into weeks for non-urgent work. Still, the costs are negligible in comparison. We perhaps pay in other ways...

I'm in the US. I've always waited weeks for non-urgent work.

I'm in Norway, I never have to wait more than a few days unless I ask for an appointment at a specific time of day.

Last time I went to my dentist it was because of a cracked filling (old amalgam), not in any pain, just a bit sensitive so not urgent, waited about four days.

Dentist declared that a crown was necessary but they didn't have a slot just then so would it be alright if I came back after lunch to have it fitted. The crown is manufactured on site using three d imaging and a fancy milling machine.

You should go in for checkups. An extraction has long-term side effects that should be monitored.

I've been on this planet for quite some time and while I'm sure some side effects are possible, I've never once heard of anyone having a problem, whereas I've heard numerous stories of people having extreme difficulty paying for dental procedures.