Not AWS, but yes, sadly I expect my employer is not the first one to do this.
Sounds like you have a lot going on in the real life, and I have to admit I am a bit jealous now, I def should "get a life" outside of my work identity, something I have struggled to do successfully so far tbh.
With every year, I care less and less about comparing myself with my peers. I reached a level I can have a very comfortable life with and anything after this is gravy. I will work hard and try to level up but I won’t grind or trade any of my personal time for money. Especially with kids, I am very short on time!!
I didn't "got a life" for like 5 years (8 if you count my productive school years when all my friends were also devs). I tried multiple sports in those five years, doing sport camps on summer to learn new stuff (mostly water-based in the beginning, i had a 31-32 BMI). I finally found out two sports i really like, i moved in a smaller city, closer to my family, and now am pretty much fulfilled. I have enough money to offer great vacations to my family, i hiked accross Europe in the last 3 years (well, actually mostly Spain and Portugal, i'm doing Italy next autumn, so hopefully at 60yo my trip will be done)(Btw, Spain: Best outside sport infrastructure i've came across yet).
I know it's a really "just do sport bro" advice, and i know that not everybody can do it (i actually have ankle issues since i was 18, and slowly becoming obese did not help at all, but i found a nice PT and techniques that mitigate the pain in the morning). You probably have money so you can try expensive sports like sailing and parasailing (i know i did).
The pandemic helped me in regard with moving out, trying new stuff (i took a 6 month sabbatical where i tried half a dozen new activities).
I'm also 42 years old. None of this happened overnight. It is one of those things where you have to ignore where you will be in 5 months, and focus on 5 years.
That's sensible advice for sure. At the same time, I feel like I can't apply myself anymore, and I hate to half-ass the work I do (I'm sure a lot of folks here will understand this).
I would highly encourage you to do a little interviewing, just to get past the anxiety. Try interviewing for things you aren't very interested in. It makes it much less stressful, and it gives you a sense that you aren't trapped. I went through a similar thing myself a few months back, and just doing some interviewing actually made doing my current job easier. In the end I had some frank conversations with my manager and was able to salvage my current position, but the interviewing really facilitated that. The important thing though, is you really should not stay at your current job as it is. Aside from it making you unhappy, you're doing damage to your resume. Being under-titled doesn't look good to potential future employers.
Find a head hunter to do it for you. They'll usually find a company for you and set everything up so that you won't have to go through too many hoops. I haven't tried this myself, but heard a few good stories about it.
yeah I do understand this. I think this is to your credit btw. The way to handle this is set up a time line to get out, then regression plan back. This should give you some sort of action plan. What helps here is action orientation
Sounds like you have a lot going on in the real life, and I have to admit I am a bit jealous now, I def should "get a life" outside of my work identity, something I have struggled to do successfully so far tbh.